Another dream! Only this one was not about an Iraqi family slaughtered… No. This one dream made that one look like a water balloon fight!
I am walking down a dark path somewhere in some wooded area unkown to me and I come upon a clearing and much like the KKK scene in “Oh! Brother, Where Art Thou” I crouch in the bushes as the horrific scene unfolds.
FALWELL: Bjork must be a homo woman, George. A Godless fag, George! A heathen! A sinner, George!
ROBERTSON: Let’s assassinate her, George!
JIM BAKKER: Menage a trois! George? Bjork?
TAMMY FAYE: She made fun of my makeup, George! Harlot! Slut! Evil doer! I Will Survive… And You Will Too you idiot! I mean, Mr. President…
KIRK CAMERON: They are the devil’s work, George! Masquerading as do gooders! They shall be like Growing Pains of children! They will be Left Behind! They will be Left Behind II and Left Behind III, Mr. President!
BUSH: Hey! I liked the third one the best, Kirk! It showed me in a good light! Kind of Jesus like don’t you think?
KIRK: You’re standing in my light, George! Move!
BARB: Don’t tell Jesus what to do, Kirk!
GHOST OF COUGHLIN: Radio is where it’s at, George! God doesn’t talk to the people through television signals, George, it’s too littered in filth! America is not allowed to hear the Truth, Mr. President!
REVEREND IKE: Amen! Prosperity brother! Prosperity! The best thing you can do for the poor is not be one of them. Now pass me the salt! I’m crazy, George!
GEORGE: So am I, brother Ike! Heh heh heh…
FRANKLIN GRAHAM the III: Islam sucks, dude!
AIMEE SEMPLE MCPHERSON: Lighthouses are godly, George! Beautiful guiding lights! Start looking for one, George!
RICHARD ROSSI: Beat your wife, George! Beat the Hell out of her! It’s the only way to your salvation!
BILLY SUNDAY: Swing for the fences, Georgey! Hit a homerun for the Manager!
JIMMY SWAGGERT: Terror has a name, George! It’s Fire and Brimstone! Sounds like a car tire, but it’s Hell on the road, Georgy boy! Fire and brimstone will defeat your terror, Mr. President!
JACK VAN IMPE: Don’t let the name fool you, George! Pat Robertson’s another Osama bin Forgotten! It is I who knows when Jesus is really gonna come! I know I’ve told you, George, that Jesus was coming back in 2006, but he had to cancel due to your little war! This time he’s gonna rear his head in the year 2012! When I’m king of the United States! Praise his daddy!
REXELLA IMPE: Don’t let my name scare you either, George! You should purchase one of Jack’s many books or video tapes, or other media products! If you don’t God and the president’s not gonna like it!
ZOLA LEVITT: I am a born again Jew! I’m a Jewish-Christian, George! It is I you should seek for war guidance! I say invade Greenland!
GEORGE: All of you shut the hell up!
LAURA: George, who are you talking to?
GEORGE: What?
LAURA: George you’re dreaming again! Hurry up and get dressed! We’re going to be late for church! Today is the day that God’s gonna tell you to invade Iran! Remember, George honey?
GEORGE: I was thinking Greenland.
LAURA: Greenland? That’s in Africa, George! Stop dilly dallying around and come on!
GOD: George?
GEORGE: Huh?
GOD: Greenland’s not in Africa.
GEORGE: You sure about that?
I jerked up in the bed in a cold sweat!
The room smelled of sacrament…
mrp
Now that’s a list!
You nailed them all.
Hugely fun read!
But you must do some tossin’ & turnin’ in your sleep.
I got most of them that I had ever heard of… Man it is one big list of televangi-tubbys!
“televangitubbys”
:>
Youse on a roll, man.